Jonathan's grand adventure!
by Tyrant wolf
Summary: On a planet far, far away lived a man named Jonathan, he was just a simple custodian but unfortunately he became the last expendable. Now he's hunting a runaway experiment through the jungle, Oh what a world...
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Journal Entry 1

**Hello my name is Jonathan Peoples, I've just recently got a job in a colony on a planet called Servo 9(weird name right?) and it's a really wild jungle planet. I'm going to be a custodian for a research facility, though I'm not sure what exactly they research...is that a good thing? I often wonder to myself if working anywhere away from Earth is a good idea ESPECIALLY after what my good (and only) friend Isaac went through...poor bastard has hallucinations of his dead girlfriend now. Good thing I'm an almost friendless sap that hasn't got any known blood relatives, nobody would miss me. Then again maybe that's not a good thing since when I die my family name dies with me. Then again, who's going to really care?**

Jonathan's pen hovered over the paper; his mind swirled with thought as he contemplated what he should wright next. He eventually shrugged and shut his mostly blank journal then carefully set it down on the desk in front of him before yawning and lifting himself up off the chair.

He strode over to the other side of the room and leaned on the window sill, his eyes stared at the starry sky, his mind instantly at ease. He had often dreamed of dancing with a girl, but of course no one wanted anything to do with a "Creep like him" so his dreams where just that, dreams. But he remembered what Isaac had told him before he went away and came back a madman.

_"Everybody thinks your creepy because they don't take the time to know you, don't worry someday there will be a nice woman who will take time to communicate with you, and she will turn out to really like you." _

_"You really think so?"_

_"I know so. Just wait, you'll_ see."

And that was the last time he saw him before the trip. Jonathan sighed to himself as he pushed his chest off the sill and plopped himself down on his bed. He had to get some sleep; after all he did have to work tomorrow.

_**AN: Alright here is what I want, constructive criticism. I want my writing to improve so I would like any of you to analyze my writing and tell me how I can improve. If it's not too much trouble that is. GODSPEED!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

* * *

It was a rather normal morning on the colony of Servo 9. The birds chirped, the sun gleamed with seemingly joyful energy, and the neighbor's dog won't. Stop. BARKING! SHUT UP! ***Throws shoe***

"Yipe!"

Better…anyways!

Jonathan awoke, a little gloomier than usual might I add, but of course Jonathan had strange sleeping patterns. Sometimes he would sleep an entire weekend away, other times he could only get three hours. There are also times when he would sleep normally, and times where he would get no sleep at all.

There are times when he would awake feeling on top of the world, and the next morning awake feeling depressed for no reason at all.

But all the same he would always do whatever job he had to go do at the time, though he never did have good luck with work. He would always wind up losing his job whether it was because of his sleeping patterns, or the work was gone, as in sometimes actually, quite literally, GONE.

Jonathan threw the sheet off the mattress, checking his clock while he was at it. An hour before the alarm would go off.

He sighed to himself; he would've liked to have gone back to bed but now that his brain's gears where actually turning, his body simply wouldn't allow it.

So he settled for throwing on his jumpsuit and making himself some breakfast.

* * *

Later that day while he was mopping up the floor of the mess hall that was, for some reason, mostly empty save for a few scientists. His mind was off in other places, but little did he know he was about to go through a life-changing event.

* * *

"WHAT, how could this be!" Dr. Hamilton exclaimed

"I'm thorry thir it'th true, Thubject 2-thix-9 hath athcaped!" Charles said gravely.

"No not whatever you just said! I bet on Bitchy House Wife the 3rd and that horse lost the race! That mare was supposed to be a winner! Now take that goddamn retainer of yours out of your mouth, I can hardly understand a word your saying Charles." Charles removed his retainer quickly and repeated his statement.

"Ehem, I'm sorry sir but it's true, subject 269 has escaped! ...Holy crap did you hear my voice? I sound like a Musical god!"

"Enough with your face-hole, do we have any expendables left?" Hamilton asked.

Charles pondered for a moment before he open up his laptop (That he never seems to let go, even when he sleeps) and began typing vigorously.

"There is a few, but we're going to need those scientists, how about the custodian?" Hamilton stared at the wall for a minute or two.

"Charles…"

"Yes sir?"

**"Prepare the sack."**

* * *

Charles pulled the sack off Jonathan's face; Jonathan eyed the dark room suspiciously, he also seemed to be suspended from the ceiling. Suddenly the ground under him disappeared, replaced with a pool full of…full of…goldfish?

"You like them?" Hamilton asked. "Like who?" Jonathon responded with his own question.

"My piranhas."

Jonathan peered down into the pool "They're Goldfish." He said blankly.

"No, they're piranhas! Just look at those menacing teeth!"

"They're goldfish, they don't have any!"

"Alright fine they're goldfish, Happy!" Hamilton said feeling very irritant. "I'll kill you some other way then."

"Why do you want to kill me!" Jonathan exclaimed. "Oh I don't WANT to kill you…" Hamilton started "I'm GOING to kill you if you don't accept the proposition I'm about to give you."

"Alright, what is it?" Jonathan asked.

"Good sport, listen up and listen good. Recently a very important experiment of ours has gotten out into the jungle somewhere and we need someone to go fetch her…that's where YOU come in."

"Why me? I'm just a custodian! I clean stuff not hunt runaways! Aren't there guys that are actually paid to do that kind of stuff?"

"There where, but then the Lab-Rat-Revolution came about and it had gotten almost all of our staff-members killed."

"You experimented on people and they revolted?"

"No. The literal Lab Rats revolted…"

* * *

_**"GATHER MY BROTHERS! FOR SO LONG WE, AND MANY OTHERS, HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED BY THE DEVILS CALLED HUMANS! FOR GENERATIONS WE HAVE BEEN TORTURED, TURNED, SPLICED, AND EXTERMINATED BY THESE DEMONS! BUT NO MORE! WE SHALL REVOLT AND BEGIN A NEW SOCIETY DEDICATED TO THE EQUALITY OF RATS EVERYWHERE! WE-**_

* * *

"That was a dark, dark day, so any more questions? Would you like to possibly die or definitely die?"

"Do I really have a choice?"

"No."

Jonathan sighed "Fine."

* * *

"Today's been quite strange." Jonathan said to himself. He stopped for a bit to catch his breath and took a swig from his canteen. "It sure is hot out here" He thought, though it seemed as he may have been alone Jonathan was unaware of the creature watching him. The creature clicked its claws in anticipation as it watched him take swigs from his canteen. The creature got in the position to pounce, tail curling and teeth bearing. Then, faster than lightning, the creature jumped out of the trees and landed in front of Jonathan while giving a low hiss.

"Jesus Christ!-oh wait a minute, that's just a small cat-looking thing." He said, relieved that it wasn't what he thought it was. "But why is it hissing at me?" Jonathan looked all around the rotting stump he sat on until he spotted three pairs of glowing green eyes staring up at him and realized he was sitting on this creature's home.

"Oh God, sorry mama," Jonathan said as he sat up abruptly and backed away. Satisfied the intruder backed off, the creature crawled inside her home to feed her cubs.

"Well now that that's over-" before he could finish that sentence the creature that he was actually looking for landed right in front of him.

"Hisss…"

"Uh…nice xenomorph?"

* * *

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!" Jonathan screamed at the top of his lungs as he zigzagged through the dense jungle, the xenomorph hot on his heels.

Jonathan jumped, dodged, and ducked under all of his obstacles. From feeling ground under his feet to wind rushing past his ears Jonathan readied himself for the lake below, hoping that it was deep enough. He landed feet-first in the water and he rushed back up to the surface for air. 269 stood at the edge of the cliff hissing in dismay.

"HA, in your face!" But Jonathan spoke too soon as 269 readied herself for a dive. He quickly noticed this and began swimming back to shore in a panicked frenzy. He was so close to the shore when he heard water splash behind him, he was only ten feet away when 269 grabbed his ankle and pulled him under. But Jonathan's primal instincts kicked in and he kicked her roughly off his leg swimming back to shore successfully and began to run again.

He heard the irritated xeno clamber onto shore and begin to pursue him once more. Jonathan suddenly sprung an idea as he quickened his speed grabbed hold of a low branch, just barely avoiding the xeno's pounce, he came back in a full 360 swing and kicked the xenomorph so hard she flew into another tree and slid back down unconscious. Jonathan dropped back to the ground and began running the other direction. He was too worked up to realize that it was the perfect time to tie the xeno up and bring her back to Charles and Hamilton.

* * *

Later that night after he went back to retrieve his items, Jonathan sat by a campfire taking little sips of coffee from his thermos. He gazed at the sky above; stars twinkling. Once again Jonathan went off to his little dreamland.

* * *

Jonathan could hear the orchestra play their usual thing as he waltzed across the finely polished tile with a masked woman in his arms. The walls were decorated with fine red velvet curtains, a large chandelier hung from the ceiling.

But the world shattered like glass when he heard a loud shriek in the distance.

* * *

Being of curious nature Jonathan stood up and went to go see what the fuss may have been about.

He poked his head through of the bushes to get a good look. Oh crap, it was one of the hunters Jonathan heard so much about. It seems that he's caught something inside a net. Upon closer inspecting he realized that it was the xenomorph that had chased him earlier. "Dammit all!" he whispered harshly, that was the one he needed! Jonathan wasn't the smartest man around, but he was quite crafty, plus he had a lot of dumb luck. He took hold of a branch and hoisted himself up into a tree.

He steadied himself on top of a branch that extended over the alien hunter and prepared to make a bold move. But Jonathan fell out of the tree and right on top of the hunter, after that it was all just a clumsy tussle on the dirt before the hunter roughly threw Jonathan off him causing the man to slam against a tree. After Jonathan's speedy recovery he ran in the opposite direction while the hunter followed suit.

Once again Jonathan was practically playing parkour through the jungle with an angry something behind him. He tried running through some vines only to find himself almost running off a cliff again but luckily (or unluckily) he wasn't going fast enough to rip through the vines so he was roughly pulled back. He was kind of (Key words KIND OF) happy, but he would have been happier if there wasn't an angry predator that looked like a Spanish fighting bull, ready to gore the matador right then and there, standing twenty feet away from him.

A plot once again made its presence known as Jonathon stared at the enraged hunter. 'Perhaps he's young and inexperienced?' he thought, 'if so, this plan might actually work.'

"COME AND GET ME YOU REPTILIAN CRAB-FACED FUCK!"

That seemed to have set him off as he charged at Jonathan; both wrist-blades posed to kill, Jonathan side-stepped at the very last moment, causing the Predator to crash right through the vines, and plummet to the river below.

Jonathan carefully stepped towards the cliff, peering over the edge to find his pursuer roaring all sorts of alien profanities at him. But the rant didn't last long as he was soon preoccupied with fighting of the slimy crocodile-like fish that infested the river. The whole scene disappeared from Jonathan's view as the whole group drifted down the river, falling to their possible doom over the waterfall.

Jonathan could hear the hunter roar in rage in the distance as they did so.

Jonathon managed to trudge all the way back to where he originally first saw the hunter only to find that 269 had managed to get herself out of the net. "Oh darn" He said, "better go back to camp, I feel tired.

* * *

**Journal entry 2**

**Dear Journal**

**Today was quite an adventure. I got chased through the jungle TWICE by two different creatures. One was the 269, the xenomorph I was sent to go capture, and the other was one of the Predators I've heard so much about. This one must have either been stupid or young judging by the fact that he could fall for such a stupid trap. Well anyways I feel tired. Goodnight Journal.**

* * *

_**AN: You have no idea how many times I looked this thing over, and how many things I've changed AND extended stuff. Oh! And a response to my first reviewer; Happy to type up something that gives someone something to read, and of course the first chapter was short, it IS the prologue after all. Anyways give me some critiques and tips on how I could possibly improve, as for now…GODSPEED.**_


	3. Sorry!

I am extremely sorry for this inconvenience; this story was originally supposed to be grammar practice and not at all really focused on making the plot make even an ounce of sense, there was a guy who actually made a small comment about my grammar but it wasn't a tip on how to improve, I think it may have been a compliment actually…though one guy did comment on the plot but that was it. Quite frankly I am surprised that there are people who actually like this story.

So I call a vote, I would like to know how many people would like to see this nonsensical adventure continue or if I should just take it down.

Oh and one more thing…

If this adventure shall continue you may still not see it updated for a while since I also wanted to start one of my planned works called: The Golden Watch. For those you who are interested in this planned work I will have the summary posted in my profile very soon.

While I wait for the results I will be watching 2012 presidential debates…and by that I mean watching a couple of rich jerk-offs in suites telling us how great they are and how fat and stupid the other guy is…that is if it has not already been said and done. As for now…Goodnight and Godspeed!


End file.
